best of David Sedaris
#david sedaris
#sedaris
#satirical
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“To me, the greatest mystery of science continues to be that a man could father six children who shared absolutely none of his interests. We certainly expressed enthusiasm for our mother’s hobbies, from smoking and napping to the writings of Sidney Sheldon.”
“All I do is lie, and that had made me immune to compliments.”
Couples over the age of fifty all say, ” I don’t want to sit on your lap, Santa, I’m afraid I might break it!”
How do you break a lap? How did so many people get the idea to say the same thing?
“Not a damned thing, ” she said. “Nada. Othing nay.”
The very idea that, out of nowhere, a member of my 1975 graduating class would call me and speak pig latin created a mixed sense of repulsion and endless possibilities.
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